求指点批改作文!
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发布时间：2024-10-22 23:58
共1个回答
热心网友
时间：2024-10-31 00:27
First paragarph
Suggestion: Different people have different ideas about whether wealth is more important than health. The meanings of wealth and health also varies to each of us.
Second paragarph
Suggestions: Many people often equate wealth to amount of money they have and how much their equity worth in market value. They consider having money gives them the freedom of doing anything. Some people want to own big houses, designer clothing, fancy cars and many more. Some people want to travel around the world. However, these people forget that without good health and bodies with good endurance, they cannot travel far and wide. They also cannot fully enjoy their luxury homes, clothes and cars without good health.
Third paragarph
Suggestion: Others believe that health is the most important thing. They believe that with good health, they can have enjoyable and happy life. Furthermore, they can reach their earning potential better than people with poor health. This higher earning power then allows a better life. This acquired better life could also be enjoyed fully with a better health.
Last paragarph
Suggestion: In my opinion, one's health is everything. Health allows you to have true freedom to realize your desire. One can enjoy life better and making more wealth only if one is healthy.
Note: I tried to preserve your style of writing and essay construction.
