大家帮忙评一下英语作文
发布网友
发布时间：2024-10-14 12:21
共3个回答
热心网友
时间：2024-10-14 20:38
Dear Mum,
I'm sorry. 此处加个时间，昨天啊，前天啊什么时候，While you were making supper and I was watching TV, I heard from a friend of you on the phone that today was (today要接is 如果写信已经是第二天，就要用yesterday was )your birthday and she was intended to say happy birthday to you . At that time, I felt ashamed of myself, for I only thought of myself and complain(complained about) your delay on supper(cooking), not realizing (that ) today 昨天吧was so important for you. How could I forget your birthday?
You are my mother, who（最好用the one who,起强调作用） give me life and bring me up ,playing an important role in my mind. It is you who always show your love （to me） and stay with me, no matter whether(不要whether， 意思与no matter重复) I succeed or fail. On the contrary, what I did（最好用完成时。What I have done） for you are(is) too small.
Therefore, (这里的句意不适和用therefore。可以说，I’ve made up my mind that) I won't make you disappointed any more from now on. My love is always for you. (还不如说I will always love you.)
Happy birthday to you!
你的句式还比较丰富，错误也不大，如果是10分的话，可以拿7-8分吧。
热心网友
时间：2024-10-14 20:34
I'm so sorry that I forgot today is your birthday .When you was making supper, I picked up a phone from one of your friends.She intended to say happy birthday to you .I felt ashamed of myself at that time,for I only remember my birthday but forget yours.I complain your delay on supper ,not realizing today is a meaningful day for you.How could I forget?
You are my beloved mother,who gives me life,brings me up and plays an important role in my heart.It is you,mum, who always shows your love ,encourages me and stays with me,no matter whether I succeed or fail.On the contrary,however,what I did for you are so small.
But from now on I won't make you disappointed any more .My love is always for you.
Happy birthday to you!
热心网友
时间：2024-10-14 20:38
