帮忙批改下这篇雅思大作文吧，感谢！

发布网友 发布时间：2023-09-16 17:36

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热心网友 时间：2024-11-02 14:21

Based on my experience, I want to emphasize that practical skills have the equal importance with theoretical knowledge for university students, in spite of each of them has its own sake on building one's knowledge system. ------[动词错误] 动词want后面一般不接从句

And I tend to think that what people worry about will not be a matter if university ecation gave both practical and theoretical courses and arrange them reasonably, or just let students make their own decisions.------[句子错误] 本句语法不规范，请检查！

For students who plan to get a work immediately after graating from university, courses that preparing them for employment will be the first choice, since a large amount of practical skills and helpful advises of work will be involved in those courses. -----[句子警示] 本句时态和其他句子时态不一致

Referring from some surveys, students studied practical courses for 3 or 4 years always have better performance at the beginning of work, comparing with those who studied theoretical knowledge for the same length of years. [低频警示] the same length of years 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语

However, this advantage will not last very long provided their competitors got more comprehensive understanding on the work by combining their originally mastered theories with the new working experiences.
[低频警示] mastered...theory 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the new working experiences 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[句子警示] 本句时态和其他句子时态不一致

On the other hand, students who want to continue their studying career and do more academic researches, universally tend to acquire more fundamental theories which, admittedly, is the prerequisite of academic innovations.
[低频警示] studying...career 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] continue their studying career 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] their studying career 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语

As a whole, we can see that, it's time to adjusting university ecation into a more reasonable system.
[低频警示] adjust...ecation 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语

As far as I know, some university have divided a semester into 3 parts, including two theoretical semesters and a practical one, and have got a great success.
[词语错误] 用词不当，建议将get success改为gain success。表达“获得成功”一般可以用： gain success, meet with success, achieve success
[低频警示] theoretical...semester 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] divide...semester 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] have got a great success 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语

I hope this can provide good model for other universities in the future.
[名词错误] good model 前面冠词缺失

评语： 文章行文连贯，文中的连接词和过渡词合理，使得全文结构紧凑；能够准确把握长难句，达到长短句合理分配，此外文中一些从句的使用，为文章锦上添花，希望继续努力，再创佳绩；文章用词不错，学术词汇较为丰富，另外作者在拼写方面做得很棒。

80%左右吧

热心网友 时间：2024-11-02 14:22

在另外一篇回了。

6-6.5分吧