帮忙修改下日记 谢谢
发布网友
发布时间：2024-03-09 06:37
共4个回答
热心网友
时间：2024-03-09 13:25
I met one of my classmates Liu Min in (junior high school grade one.)到底是初中（junior)还是高中(high),或者说year 几好了，比如初一就是year 7
She recognized me immediately/at first sight
because we haven't seen each other nearly FOR 4 years
She HAD CHANGED much
(she said she works near a small of my hometown, she backs home this time for her business. Dramatically, her home is quite near my home, just 5 minutes' walk, she moved this new apartment one years ago. Then she asked me for my phone number,)
SHE TOLD ME SHE IS WORKING NEAR MY HOMETOWN(不知道你到底要说什么）and back home this time for her own business.
Dramatically, her appartment is 5 mins walk from mine and only moved in a year ago.
( Then she asked me for my phone number, at that time I realized that I didn’t take my phone even I couldn’t remember my number!!At last I got my number form my aunt’s telephone book. )
while she asked my cell/mobie phone number, then i realised that i didn't take it with me, and worse, i can't even remember the number, however i did luckily found it in phone book of aunt's.
(After that, I shoved a barrow(手推车) within plenty of consumables to the cashier. We spent 300 yuan, and we went back home by taxi because it’s heavy to carry those consumables. )
then, with loads of stuff full of a trolley for 300 RMB, we took them home by taxi because they were way too heavy.
(When I came back, I found that there were 9 miss calls, I realized I might make a big mistake. Then my phone was ranging, )
when i got home, there were 9 miss calls in my cell/mobie, i realised that was a big mistake. then the phone ringing,
(After lunch, I have a rest. I did some reading this afternoon, then I collected some data from the internet.)
after lunch, i had some rest, then did a bit of reading and internet research in the later afternoon.
不要连续说太多我或者她，有些单词比如说consumables只有政治家，诗人或者搞市场营销的人才会用的。以上这些希望可以帮到你，一起加油 。
热心网友
时间：2024-03-09 13:26
热心网友
时间：2024-03-09 13:26
she said she works near a small of my hometown, she backs home this time for her business中a small后少个名词，另外 back不可做名词，也不可用一般时态，应改成came back
her home is quite near my home中is改成was
at that time I realized that I didn’t take my phone even I couldn’t remember my number!! 中将even改成and
it’s heavy to carry those consumables中is改成was， consumables太正式了点，改成things就好了
热心网友
时间：2024-03-09 13:19
2,I met liumin who is one of my classmates in junior one.
3,both of us were very```
4,each other for about 4 years
5,she almost as the same as before
6,said that``
7,not far away from my hometown
8,it's only 5```
9,joined this new```
10,it's too heavy to carry
11,missing calls(this one ,i'm not sure)
12,it was a call from Song```
给你一些建议，试着改变一下语法，因为你的语法太chineglish，学着用一些长句或者虚拟倒装之类的。在注意一下标点
