谁有英语笑话.要很简单的.还有可笑..初1用的,急用!!!
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发布时间：2022-07-24 05:57
共5个回答
热心网友
时间：2023-10-04 08:48
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
2 The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
3 Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
4 Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
5 But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老师哭了
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”
“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
6 Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
7 The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants recing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
8 Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
9 Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
热心网友
时间：2023-10-04 08:49
1． we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿
2． how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3． you don't bird me,I don't bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4． you have seed I will give you some color to see
see,brothers！together up ！
你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
5． hello everybody!if you have something to say,they say! if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝
6． you me you me 彼此彼此
7． You Give Me Stop!! 你给我站住！
8． know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知…
9． WATCH SISTER 表妹
10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse's sons can make hole!!
龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！
11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足
12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述
13．heart flower angry open 心花怒放
14．go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过
15．小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
16.If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条
17．I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son。 你有两下子。
19．as far as you go to die 有多远，死多远！！！！
20．I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face
给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸。
热心网友
时间：2023-10-04 08:49
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
参考资料：http://www.wwenglish.com/en/ez/3/2421.htm
热心网友
时间：2023-10-04 08:50
Looking puzzled ,the girl dipped into her backpack and pulled out a small mirror.She glanced into it for a moment,then smiled,"yes,it's me all right."
一个年轻漂亮的女士到银行兑换一张支票 检票员检查了一下支票 问道 “你可以证明一下自己的身份吗？”女士带着迷惑不解把手伸进自己的包里，掏出一面镜子 她看了镜子一会 然后笑着说 “没错，的确是我。”
Teacher : Here are two birds ,one is a swallow ,the other is a sparrow.NOw,who can tell us which is swallow,which is sparrow?
STUDENT: I can not point out but I know the answer. The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师：这有两只鸟，一个是麻雀，另一个是燕子。谁能指出哪个是燕子哪个是麻雀？
学生：我说不准但是我知道答案。燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边是燕子。
热心网友
时间：2023-10-04 08:50
doctor: your brain is perfectly ok.
w.bush: how come?
doctor: you are the same as everybody else, having right brain and life brain.
w.bush: and?
doctor: but yours is even far better than all the others.
w.bush: oh?
doctor: yes, sir, everybody’s brain is not seperated so perfect. but yours is an exception.
w.bush: tell me how could it be an exception, not because I am the head of USA. I hope.
doctor: sir, your brain is really seperated completely, there is nothing right in your left brain, and there is nothing left in your right brain.
