高考 英语作文 求详细批改

发布网友 发布时间：2022-04-23 18:59

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热心网友 时间：2023-10-13 23:18

 In China, the college entrance examination is really important, so students will relax themselves a lot after it.

评价：一句话说明了毕业庆祝的产生原因，句型词汇不足。

修
改： In China, no one can deny the importance of the college entrance
examination. To rece the great pressure, Chinese students always
celebrate the end of the exam. But sometimes, they don't know what is
control.

Many of them have parties and hold great
feasts inviting their relatives and classmates. That create a relaxing
atmosphere but really cost a lot of money.

评价：庆祝方式&利弊

修改：Parties and great feasts are hold to celebrate their release from the prison. Actually, it really costs much.

Some of them go traveling alone or with friends.

评价：庆祝方式

修改：内容不好不做修改

They travel to places they dream of, and even go abroad to experience life.

评价：庆祝方式

修改：内容不好不做修改

Traveling is good but sometimes 【it】can be dangerous.

评价：利弊

修改：内容不好不做修改

Also students write about their best wishes to friends.

评价：含义模糊，write to 写信？应该写明是寄语

修改：内容不好不做修改

We feel warm at these notes but sad to leave high school forever.

评价：这句话完全没有转折。。。乱用！还用forever...我是批卷老师我就心里咯噔一下，这篇低分

修改：内容不好不做修改

新段

I think the more meaningful way of celebrating it【不用it 删掉】 is to do some social work.

评价：有意义的庆祝方式

修改：When it comes to a more meanful way, doing some social work is much better in my opinion.

Social work can develope your overall abilities and also promote awareness of helping others.

评价：利弊，生搬硬套的优点。虽然我能理解你。。。

修改：内容不好不做修改

It also indicates that you are an alt and take your responsibilities well.

评价：利弊，再理解你一次

修改：内容不好不做修改

没有结尾！低分低分

没有一点和Mark的关系，你是和他写信诶！

据我所知，高考好作文里面，从句的应用应该很自然，要多用从句。

对于中心把握不准确，利弊及有意义的方式应该同是主体，篇幅大多用在方式。

词汇一般，没有亮点。

句型一般。需改进。

没有连接词，要背！

文章主旨一般，且主旨需合理论述，不是假大空。

另附范文～虽说是考研但是水平差不多，高考用用正好～

加油！

望采纳。

追答=v=

热心网友 时间：2023-10-13 23:19