英语笑话(带汉译)
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发布时间：2022-04-29 07:32
共3个回答
热心网友
时间：2022-06-21 04:26
如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧！
A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
oops! i miss "U"
A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
哎呀！我居然丢了“U”
注：U代表 “You”你。miss除有“遗漏”的意思，还有“思念”之意。这里i miss "U"，实为"I miss you." 我想你。
FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。 EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 争论
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是开始新的争吵。
CATS 猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能挣比他太太花得更多的钱的；成功的女人是能找得到这么个男人的。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不；男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。
Don't be mad, don't be blue, Einstein was ugly too!
不要激动，不要忧郁，爱因斯坦长相也难看！
注：这句话言外之意是：难看怎么了，像爱因斯坦那样的伟人长相也难看呢！虽然你也很难看吧，没有什么大不了的。此句重点在一个“too”（“也”）字上。
1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U.
一天你会很惊讶的发现我出现在你身边。你我一起欢笑，一起哭泣，一起梦想，依偎在一起，一起……只不过是你我一起坐在精神病院里并且我（医生）给你（精神病人）做检查。
You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love.
你可能会从山上掉下来，也可能会从树上掉下来，但是，最好的方式，是你会爱上我。
注：fall from 意为“从……跌落下来”，fall to my love 意为“爱上我”，稳中巧用了“fall”这个单词的不同含义及用法，这条信息适合单身的朋友发给心仪的他/她.
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, "Let me try world peace".
然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
Every morning I pray 2 God that
everybody should get a friend like u,
...
每天早晨我都向上帝祷告：希望每个人都能够拥有像你这样的朋友……
Why should I be the only to
suffer...??
为什么只有我要忍受有你这样的朋友？
If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.
如果你躲起来，我会去找你。如果你不见了，我会寻觅你。如果你离开了，我会等你。如果日子会把你带走，我会为你战斗。
But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.
但是，如果你停止发短信息，我会宰了你。
热心网友
时间：2022-06-21 04:27
两个记者在森林中拍摄熊吃鱼的镜头，忽然熊发现了他们并向他们冲过来，两个记者拼命的跑，最后都要跑不动了。一个记者说：“我们怎么办？”这时另一个记者对他的同伴说：“我也不知道，不过我们中的一个要上头条了……”
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗？上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
热心网友
时间：2022-06-21 04:27
英语笑话
[你不说带汉译.我也知道 你要翻译!]
